Okay, so. As you may or may not know, I used to love Ouija and Tarot, until it almost got me in trouble with the afterlife. After that, I swore to never mess with the stuff again. Until yesterday(Saturday). A psychic named Mary Lee appealed to me, so I go up to her. $20 for a tarot reading, which is bullcrap. But apparently, she guarantees all her readings. So I say, "What the heck? Why not?". Unlike me. Very unlike me. But I do. So I sit in her chair and she tells me to shuffle and make a wish. I do. She takes the cards and starts throwing them down like some sort of card shark. And here's the outcome:
- My self esteem isn't as high as it should be.
- The gates in my mind are so high, that I can't even see over them. This is because I keep my guard up very well.
- I was told to trust NO ONE. To keep my business to myself.
- I was told that my aura color is out of whack. In order to fix it, I should dress nicer.
- Apparently, I am working on a project. I was told to keep working on the project and to put it into place, as it will work out for me.
- I was told that I was happy on the outside, but on the inside I'm a total wreck.
- I was told that money is no problem for me. It's what I already have that's getting me.
- She said I do a lot of writing.
- I was told that 2007 was the worst year I've had.
- 2008 was also pretty suckish, but not as bad as 2007.
- She said 2010 will be a GREAT year.
- She said that I was having a relationship problem.
- She said she doesn't see marriage for me for another 5 years.
- She said I'd be in a relationship by the end of this year.
Okay. Finally Alan logged on today. I haven't spoken to him in days. He's showering right now, though I don't think he'll be returning tonight. Haha. Anyway, in talking to him, he said a few things that surprised me today. Apparently, I'm acting strange lately. His reasons were that because I don't always answer his IM's, I don't hang out with him all the time anymore. I'm doing things with Abe, and a few other things, as well. I'm surprised he noticed... Well he's correct. I haven't been hanging with him a lot, and I don't answer his IM's all the time. The reason why, is because after a while, it tends to get suckish being love with your best friend. I mean, wouldn't it be sucky if you thought your best friend was the most handsome, perfect, and most amazing person in the world, and yet he didn't think of you the same way? I would think so. Anyway, he notices. That's a good thing. Maybe he'll finally realize how much it sucks. Haha. I mean, it doesn't bother me (much) that he doesn't like me, but it just gets tiring and crappy sometimes. I don't know. I mean, I love him with all my heart, and anything he does won't upset me. I just wanna finally get my chance with him, y'know? I just wanna know how it is to date someone so awesome. I mean, yea. He's a flirter, and some of things he says are so cute, but I want them to mean something. Instead of him just unintentionally flirting with me. I mean, don't they say that the greatest relationships were always based on awesome friendships? We have one of the best friendships in the world, to me anyway. I personally think that things would go right with us. Yea, he says he's not the datable type, but then again who is? If people were so "datable", then why do people go through so many relationships throughout their lives? Hell, I'm not datable. Every guy I've dated ended abruptly simply because there was something about them that either Alan didn't have, or simply because he WASN'T Alan. Bad move, bad thing to do. I know, but I can't help it. It's like having a pet. You get a cat and LOVE it SOOO much, and it loves you. Then one day, the cat dies. You get another one, and it loves you just the same. But you will always know, no matter how much the new cat loves you, it will NEVER be the same as having the old one. If anything, I'm not datable. Because no one is good enough for me, other than him. They say, "Hey. You'll miss out on the one who you're TRULY supposed to be with." Well, here's what I gotta say to that. It doesn't really matter if I miss the one I'm truly supposed to be with. Because I'm willing to let that person slip by, just so I can try and see if we do finally try things. Even if it takes forever, I will. They say I can do way better. Well, the fact of the matter is, I don't WANT better, I don't NEED better, and I won't SETTLE for better. I want him. Plain and simple. But, meh. I'm the hopeless romantic. I'll just keep falling into the hole, while my Prince Charming rides by me with his valiant steed in a blur. Oh well.
I got work in the morning. UGH!!!! And nope, Alan's definitely not coming back online. Oh well, talk to you in a week, my love. =3
Anyway, I'm gonna get some rest, I suppose. I have nothing else to write about. 'Till next time, Blogger!
Kisses for all!
- Joey
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